I still mean it
by Calypsana
Summary: He had recalled this scene over and over again during the past four years. The last time he had seen her face, the last time he had heard her voice. He couldn't forget the way she had smiled. She didn't know. She didn't know what he was on the point to do.
1. Chapter 1

**This is a second story. I don't own pretty little liars .**

**Sorry for my errors, as I've already said in my other story, English is not my native language.**

**There are some flashbacks, they are italicized.**

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**Chapter one**

He went down the stairs of his hotel at a brisk pace and looked for his keys in his bag with a point of annoyance. He was late for his conference and had spent an awful night. He reached his car, came inside the vehicle and settled his GPS. The machine told him that he would be at Columbia University in fifteen minutes; he wouldn't be so late after all.

He was on the point to start his car when his cell phone rang. He looked at the tiny screen to see the name of his correspondent: Sydney. He sighed, rejected the call and started his car, beginning to follow the GPS indications.

Sydney! Even if they had broken up two months ago, she kept calling him almost every day. She couldn't accept that it was over and was still hoping that he would come back to her. But he knew it would never happen.

Sydney and he had been together during almost a year. She was her neighbor and they had met when he had offered his help to carry her boxes the day she had moved in. After that, they had got along well and had learnt to know each other by getting out a few times until they begin a romantic relationship. Sidney was an amazing girl but even if he had been really attached to her, he had never been in love with her. Three months ago, when she had asked him to move in with him, he had understood that she loved him more than he did and he had preferred to break up with her. Of course, he felt guilty every time she called him, crying, begging him to come back but he didn't regret his decision. At twenty seven years old, it was high time to be honest with the others and especially with himself and to stop being a coward. He had been enough a coward in the past.

"You have now reached your final destination." The GPS squeaky voice broke the silence of his car, pulling him out of his thoughts. He hadn't seen the time go by and had arrived at Columbia, where the conference was, without realizing it.

He parked his car in the parking lot reserved for the professors, using the code that the Dean had sent him a few days ago. He had been invited by Columbia University a few weeks ago to give an anticipated conference for a new literature program. He had immediately accepted the offer, seeing in it an occasion to move away from Berkeley, the university where he taught, and especially from Sidney, for a while.

Once he was inside the building, he tried to find his way to go to the classroom where he had to be, by following the campus map. He asked for directions to some students he met in the corridor and finally reached his destination.

"Mr. Fitz! Welcome to Columbia! We are so glad to have you with us!" The Dean received him warmly as he came inside the room already full of professors and students.

"I really am sorry, I'm late!" He apologized.

"Oh, don't worry, we are still waiting for some professors and students," the Dean told him.

"Come on, take a seat," the Dean said.

Ezra took a seat on a row next to the other professors as the Dean introduced them to him. The students arrived by small groups and the ones who were already sitting were talking cheerfully. He turned over to see the door opening on another group of students who arrived by talking and his heart raced when he saw the last person he had expected to see.

It immediately took his breath away. It couldn't be her, he was probably dreaming, it couldn't be true. He followed her with one's eyes as she sat down on a row, still talking with her friends. Her gorgeous and big hazels eyes which lighted up every time she smiled didn't let him any doubts as to her identity. It was her. She hadn't really changed but she seemed even more beautiful than in his memories. Her long brown curly hairs were longer and almost reached her waist. Even if she was still very tiny and very thin her features seemed more matures. Of course, she was only seventeen the last time he had seen her, now, she was twenty one. Seeing her sitting among the other students took him back five years ago during his first day as a teacher, at Rosewood high, when he was only twenty two, it was the day he had….

"Mr. Fitz?" The Dean's voice pulled him out of his thoughts. He was so deep lost in his thoughts that he hadn't even noticed that the conference had begun and that the Dean was waiting for him to join him on the platform for his speech.

All the students and the professors were looking at him but he only paid attention to one look. She had seen him and she was staring at him with her big hazel eyes. She had turned pale and she seemed very shocked. He couldn't turn his look away from her; after a few interminable seconds, he hesitantly smiled at her but she didn't smile back.

"Mr. Fitz?" The Dean insisted in front of his absence of reaction. He suddenly realized that everybody was staring at him, astonished. He got up and tried to pull himself together as much as he could to pronounce the speech that he had repeated at least a hundred times these past few days.

He was deplorable. He stuttered, repeated two times the same sentences and didn't even succeed to look at the public by fear to meet _her_ look. He would have wanted to explain to the students his project but the only thing he was thinking about was that she was here; sitting only a few meters from him after having passed years a hundred miles away.

He managed to finish his speech somehow or other and the Dean came to thank him as the students got out of the classroom, probably relieved to have finished with this pathetic speech. He looked for her but she was already gone and he had to focus on what the Dean was saying to him.

After some minutes which seemed to last forever, he took leave of the Dean and got out of quickly of the classroom. The corridors were almost empty and he felt a huge disappointment. What had he expected? That she would have waited for him in front of the door? She probably didn't want to see him at all after what had happened, after what he had done.

_He looked at her as she was on the point to leave his apartment and suddenly felt the urge to stop her._

"_Wait!" He told her. She turned over to look at him and he crossed the distance between them to wrap his arms around her._

"_I love you, you know that, right?" He whispered against her hair. She broke their embrace to face him._

"_Are you sure that everything is okay?" She asked him, suspicious. _

"_Yeah, why are you asking me that?" He asked, nervously._

"_I don't know, you seem a little strange," she said. He did his best to keep a normal face and to smile._

"_Don't worry," he said. _

"_Okay, so I see you tomorrow?" She asked him._

"_Yes, of course," he replied, trying to keep his voice neutral. She smiled and opened the door. He watched her as she turned over a last time to smile at him before leaving his tiny apartment. In that second he felt like his heart was breaking. He knew he wouldn't see her tomorrow nor the day after tomorrow, he would never see her again._

He had recalled this scene over and over again during the past four years. The last time he had seen her face, the last time he had heard her voice. He couldn't forget the way she had smiled. She didn't know. She didn't know what he was on the point to do.

He pulled away from his thoughts and began to walk toward the parking lot when the Dean caught him and invited him to join him and the other professors for lunch. After this morning, the last thing he needed was a formal meal in the course of which he would be obligated to smile and to speak about things he didn't care about, but he wasn't in a position to refuse after his disastrous speech, he could already be happy that the Dean was so nice to him. So he accepted.

The meal was exactly how he had expected it to be, boring and long. During all the time, he couldn't help but look for her, looking at every student who passed, hoping to see her but without any success. After lunch, the Dean wanted him to meet several of his colleagues, so it was almost six o'clock when he reached the now almost empty parking lot .The light began to decline and there were only some students who were still walking on the campus. He was on the point to fit the key in the lock when he heard a voice behind him.

"Hello, Ezra!" He didn't need to turn around to know who was behind him. He would have recognized this delicate voice anywhere, it was her voice.

_He looked at the beautiful girl who had just entered the bar. She was gorgeous, with her long brown hair and her amazing hazel eyes. She sat down on a chair and ordered a cheeseburger. All of a sudden, something on the wall in front of her seemed to catch up her attention. She suddenly seemed really sad and he saw her eyes filling with tears._

"_Is everything okay?" He asked her. _

_She turned around to look at him._

"_Yes, I'm a little bit jet-lagged, I just come back from Europe," she replied._

" _Where in Europe? " He asked her. _

"_Iceland!" The girl replied._

"_Really? I spent a few months in Iceland, it's an amazing country," he told her._

"_Yeah, I really liked it. So, you're going to Hollis, aren't you?" She asked him._

"_Actually I just graduated, I start my first teaching job tomorrow," he said, proudly._

"_That is great! I would love to be a teacher but I think I'm a little too shy for that but if I was a teacher, I would choose English. I do love literature!" She said._

"_It's the subject I'm going to teach!" He said, smiling. "And you don't seem so shy," he added ,causing her to blush a little bit._

"_Yes, we will see after college," she said._

"_What is your major?" He asked her. She strangely seemed a little embarassed._

"_Actually I…" She interrupted herself when she heard the song which had begun to fill the bar._

"_I love this song!" She said ,smiling._

"_B26," he said, recognizing the song._

"_Yeah, you know it?" She asked, surprised._

"_Yes, I do like The Fray," he told her._

"_Really? It's one of my favorite groups!" She told him, smiling widely. __He couldn't help but notice the way her eyes lighted up when she smiled and how gorgeous they were. He got up from his chair and got closer to her._

"_You travel, you love literature, good tastes in music … I would like to know more about you," he told her. She smiled, blushing._

"_Yeah, I would like to know more about you too," she replied. Then they looked at each other a few minutes and he felt lost in her gorgeous eyes._

"_I'm Aria!" She introduced herself._

He turned over and saw her. She was standing only a few meters from him, her arms wrapped around her tiny shoulders. He gently smiled at her.

"Hello, Aria!"

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**So, here's my second story, I hope you liked it! It's not going to be a very long story (around six chapters I think) but please, tell me your thoughts and if you want me to keep writing.**

**Xoxo**


	2. Chapter 2

**Thank you so much for your reviews: ****HarrylovesGinny09****, ****Nabrenda12****, anon, Passy, ****what lies beneath the surface****, anon, ****WTRGAL01**** and ****xTwilightxSparklesx****. And I also want to thank the persons who added this story to their favorites or to their story alerts .It's really nice and it means a lot to me.**

**Once again: the flashbacks are italicized.**

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** Chapter two **

**A few hours early**

She thought she was going to faint when she spotted him among the professors, sitting a few meters from her. She would never have thought that she would see him again, especially here, where she was studying for three years.

She crossed his gaze and could see that he was as much surprised as her. He then smiled to her. At this moment, she bit her lip to prevent the tears, which were filling her eyes, from falling down her face. How could he smile to her after what had happened? She had a hard time not running away from the classroom. She wanted to be anywhere but here; unfortunately the conference had just begun so she could not leave without a good explanation.

He finally got up and began his speech. She could see how nervous he was when he began to stutter and to falter, and she knew he was making a massive effort to control himself. She didn't listen to a single word during all the conference and kept her eyes on the floor to avoid his look.

As soon as the last professor stopped speaking, she packed her stuffs and got out of quickly of the room without paying attention to the other students and to the professors' astonished looks. Lucy, her closest friend in the campus, except Spencer, her friend from Rosewood who now was her roommate, caught her in the corridor.

"Aria, wait!" Lucy tried to stop her.

"What's going on? Look at you; you're white as though you had seen a ghost!" She told her. Lucy didn't know how true it was.

"Yeah, I know, I'm not feeling well, I think I caught something. I'm going to my room; I think I need to get some sleep," she said to her friend. She didn't feel able to have lunch with the others as if nothing had happened. She knew she wouldn't be able to control her emotions any longer.

"Do you want me to come with you?" Lucy offered, looking at her, worried.

"No, don't worry, it's gonna be okay, I'm going to sleep a little bit, and I'm sure I will feel better," she replied, her eyes glossy from unshed tears. She just wanted to be alone.

"Are you sure? You really seem weird; I have never seen you like that before," Lucy insisted, suspicious. She did her best to pull herself together before replying.

"Yes, don't worry, I swear, I'm fine! See you later," she told her friend before leaving her and walking straight toward the dormitory, situated a few meters away.

She knew that Lucy hadn't believed her when she had said that she was fine, but she couldn't tell her. She had never told her about him. Except her best friends from Rosewood, Hanna, Emily and Spencer, nobody knew about this story. It was her secret and she wanted to keep it. Moreover, it would have been too painful to talk about it, because if it was easy to say how it had started, she couldn't tell how it had ended up without crying. Once she reached the room that she shared with Spencer, who was in Rosewood because of some family problems, she climbed into her bed and let the tears, that she contained since the morning, roll down her face.

_Her father came in her room and sat down on the side of her bed._

"_Your mom called me; she told me what happened!" He said, softly. She raised her really puffy eyes to look at her father._

"_How could he? How could he do this to me, daddy?" She said, weeping._

"_I'm so sorry, honey," __he said, __enveloping her in a hug._

"_I can't believe he did that; I thought he loved me," she sobbed against her father's chest._

"_I know, sweetie, I know," he said, caressing her hair._

"_Why did he do that?" She asked ,more for herself than for her father._

"_I knew this man was going to hurt you one day," he added, hugging her tighter._

"_You were right; I should have listened to you. How could I have been so stupid?" __She told him __while the __tears__ came faster __down her face._

"_You couldn't have known, honey. This is not your fault, Aria, he is the only responsible!" Her father tried to comfort her. _

"_It's so painful dad, I can't handle it!" She cried harder into her father's arms._

"_Shh, it's okay, honey, I'm here. I love you so much, sweetie," he whispered by tenderly kissing her on the top of her head._

The memories came over while the tears fell down her face. How had he could do that? Was it her fault? Had he done that because of her? Had she pushed him to do it? Had she done something? She was forced to admit that she had never completely gotten over that, despite the four years which had passed.

She spent the whole afternoon in her bedroom, crying and recalling the past. Around five o'clock, she made a decision, she needed to talk to him. Even if, she knew it was going to be difficult, she had to do it. She needed to know why he had done that. She got up, took a shower and tried to camouflage her very puffy eyes with some makeup.

She left her room and walked toward the building. She suddenly got worried, maybe he was already gone; after all, it was getting late. She was on the point to enter the building, when she spotted him, walking in the parking lot. She stopped and watched him for a quick moment. He seemed more mature than the last time she had seen him. Maybe it was because of his hair, which were shorter. When she saw him on the point to open his car, she walked at a brisk pace to catch him . She stopped a few meters away from him, closed her eyes, took a deep breath and called out his name.

"Hello, Ezra!" She said in a low voice. It was the first time she pronounced his name in a loud voice in four years. He immediately stopped before turning over a few seconds later, and their looks met for the second time of the day. She couldn't help shivering when his dark blue eyes met her. She hated that; after what he had done she didn't want him to have this effect on her.

"Hello, Aria," he said, smiling softly but she didn't smile back and kept staring at him.

They stayed a few minutes, staring at each other, without saying anything but Ezra finally broke the awkward silence.

"How are you?" He hesitantly asked her.

"I'm fine", she replied, trying to control her voice. "And you?"

"I'm fine. I really am surprised to find you here, I didn't know you were studying at Columbia," he told her. She bit the inside of her cheek. Of course he didn't know; how could he? She tried to keep controlling her emotions; she didn't want him to think that he still could touch her.

"Yes, as you see; I'm here for three years now," she replied, coldly. He looked at her a few seconds before talking.

"Well, I shouldn't be surprised, you have always been very talented," he said. She didn't smile at his compliment.

"Look, Aria, it's getting cold, we should go to take a coffee somewhere, so we'll be able to talk," he asked her. Once again she bit her lip. To Talk! She would have loved to talk four years ago when he had left without saying anything.

"Aria?" Ezra insisted.

She fought with herself. She didn't know what to do. She didn't want to see him, she didn't want to spend time with him, but she had to know, she needed some answers and he was the only one who could give them to her.

"Okay!" She replied, wavering slightly.

He seemed surprised by her answer as though he had expected her to refuse. He went round his car and opened the passenger door for her. She came inside the vehicle and Ezra started the car. The way to the café was totally quiet; no one said a single word. She was so nervous that she couldn't help twisting her fingers and digging her nails into her palms. Fortunately, it was quick, a few minutes later, they reached the little café. The waitress led them to a little table, on the corner, and they sat down at the table. She couldn't help but feel uncomfortable, it was the first time they were together in a public place, she was under the impression that everybody was staring at them. But it was ridiculous, there were not in Rosewood anymore. She glanced at him and knew that he was thinking the same thing.

"So," Ezra began once the waitress had taken their orders, "Do you like to study at Columbia?" He asked her.

"Yes, it's a great campus, and I've always wanted to live in New York," she said. He looked at her as if he already knew it. Of course he did.

"_I would love to live in New York!" She said as they were sitting on his couch, watching Autumn in New York. "I can't stand living in this town. I'm so sick of Rosewood. I wish I could leave and never come back. I have too many bad memories here," she added._

"_You will!" He told her." We will!" He added, caressing her hairs. She couldn't help but smile at his comment. She straightened up to look at him._

"_Really, we will leave?" She said, insisting on the first person plural._

"_Yes, as soon as you finish high school you will pick a college and I'll find a job near to your college," he said, smiling._

"_Sounds like a plan!" She smiled widely._

"_I would love to study at Columbia University," she said._

"_You will, without any doubts," he replied._

"_It's a very prestigious university, Ezra. It's pretty difficult to be accepted there," she seriously told him._

"_But I know you will be accepted! You're a genius!" He said, smiling._

_She giggled, "You just want to flatter me!" She accused him._

"_No, I mean it; don't forget I have been your teacher, Miss Montgomery!" Ezra said._

"_Yeah, how to forget!" She ironically replied._

"_So, you will enter Columbia and we'll have a nice apartment together with a beautiful view over Central Park," Ezra added._

"_Hum, seems good, but on one condition!" She said._

"_Which one?" Ezra asked, furrowing his brows._

"_The apartment has to be bigger than this tiny apartment," she replied, smiling. He looked at her, offended, like every time she teased him with the size of his apartment._

"_Yes, you're right; it has to be pretty big to admit all your clothes!" Ezra said._

"_I don't have that many clothes," she defended herself. Ezra looked at her, raising a brow._

"_Alright, alright, I have that many clothes," she confessed as they both burst out laughing. _

"_Do you really mean it?" She suddenly asked him._

"_What? That you have a lot of clothes?" He asked her, laughing._

"_No," she laughed, "I mean, when you talk about us living together, do you really think it will happen?" She asked him, worried it__ was __just a joke. He stopped smiling, cupped her face in his hands and looked at her intensively._

"_Of course, it will happen. There is nothing I want more; I can't imagine my life without you!" He told her, caressing her cheek with his thumb. She smiled and pressed her lips against his._

"And, what is your major?" He asked her like he had done years ago, the day they had met.

"English and art," she replied.

"This is great, at least you didn't have to choose between the two things you loved the most," he told her.

Of course, he knew that she had always been passionate about the arts, like the painting and the drawing; moreover, he used to tell her that she was an artiste. But she was also passionate about literature, so it was as a matter of course that she had chosen these two subjects at Columbia University. Spencer had come with her too and had chosen to study at Columbia business school.

"Yes," she slowly acquiesced.

"And you? You teach at Berkeley, don't you?" She asked him.

"Yes, for two years, now, it's a good college. But I think I'm going to quit. A high school in Florida has offered me a post and I think I'm going to accept, I've always preferred to teach in a high school," Ezra replied. She knew that and she also knew why he had stopped teaching in a high school.

"_I got the job at Hollis!" Ezra proudly told her._

"_What? Why didn't you tell me that you had applied for this job?" She asked him, amazed._

"_I wanted to surprise you!" He replied. "Aren't you happy?" He asked her._

"_Yes, of course I'm happy. But, are you sure you are not going to regret it? "She worried._

"_Aria, do you know what it means for us? I'm not gonna be your teacher anymore. We're going to be able to spend time out of my apartment, to go to the café or, I don't know, to go to see a movie!" Ezra said, enthusiastic. _

"_It's amazing but, it's just, I know how much you love to teach at Rosewood High," she said. Ezra got closer to her and wrapped his arms around her waist._

"_Yes, I do but I love you more!" He replied before kissing her._

"And, do you… do you have someone in your life?" Ezra asked her, wavering.

"Hum, yes," she replied.

"His name is Alex," she added. She could see that he forced a smile.

"That is great! I see that everything is fine for you," he told her, smiling. "You have all you have always dreamed of!"

His sentence caused her immense pain. How dared he to say that? Of course, everything was not fine and it was his fault. What was he thinking? That he didn't destroy her? That she had continued her life as if nothing had ever happened? Maybe it was what he had done, but not her.

"I have to go," she said, biting hard her lip to prevent the tears from falling down her face. She couldn't stand being here with him, telling her that her life was perfect. Not after what he had done to her.

"_Ezra, it's me, please, open the door!" She banged loudly on the door. _

"_Ezra, please, we need to talk. What's going on? Why don't you return my calls?" She yelled against the door without caring of the neighbors. _

_As she didn't get any answer she bent for the key she used to use, always hidden under the doormat. She fitted the key in the lock, opened the door, stepped into the little apartment and immediately stopped. _

_The place was totally empty. Everything had gone; the many books which was usually on the bookshelf, the typewriter which she had played with a lot of times, the movie flyers which decorated the walls, the college diploma that she particularly admired and often contemplated, hoping to possess the same some day, everything. There was nothing anymore except an old exemplar of To kill a mockingbird, probably forgotten on the last row of the bookshelf. _

_A__ tear rolled down her cheek as she understood what it meant._

Before he could add a single word she got up, threw some money on the table for the coffee and ran toward the exit as fast as possible.

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**I hope you liked this chapter and please review. And, I really am sorry for my errors.**

**xoxo**


	3. Chapter 3

**Thank you so much to the persons who sent me a review, it's really nice!**

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**Chapter three**

He caught her outside where it was already dark.

"Aria, wait!" He called after her. "What did I say?" He asked her. She didn't even turn over and kept walking at a brisk pace.

"Aria, stop! You can't leave like that!" Ezra said. She immediately stopped at his sentence, and all the anger she had contained since she had seen him at the conference took possession of her.

"Why? It's exactly what you did!" She yelled, blind with rage.

"Aria, I…" He began to say but she cut him.

"How dare you to say that everything is fine in my life? You don't even know my life! In four years you have never taken any news, you have never called; you have never written to me, you have just left without a word! How could you? How could you do this to me?" She shouted. Now the tears were falling down her face, ruining her makeup.

"Aria, I'm sorry, I know I hurt you so bad," Ezra told her.

"If you didn't love me anymore, you should have told me, it would have been simpler!" She said while the tears came faster down her face.

"It wasn't like that, I loved you, I swear it to you," he retorted.

"Don't you ever dare to say that you loved me! If you really did, you would never have done what you did!" She snapped at him, still crying. She couldn't stop the tears that were falling from her eyes. It was too much.

"Aria, I know I was a coward, but I didn't have a choice… he had been very clear!" He replied.

"What? What are you talking about? Who had been very clear?" She asked him, amazed. Ezra kept silence during a few seconds before replying.

"Your father! He came to see me; he said that if I didn't leave the town, he would go to the police!" Ezra confessed.

"What? I don't believe you, he wasn't happy for our relationship, but he would never have done such a thing, especially after my mother had finally come around. Plus, you weren't even my teacher anymore!" she said, convinced.

"But he did, Aria! He said he had proofs that we had started dating while you were still my student, that someone had sent him some photos and that he could send me to jail for the rest of my life. He told me that he would never agree this relationship, and if nobody wanted to put an end to this relationship, so he would do it by himself!" Ezra told her.

"Even if it's true, why didn't you find a way to talk to me instead of running away without saying a word?" She asked him, full of anger.

"Are you aware of how shocked I was when I found your apartment totally empty, and that I understood that you had left? I hoped during months that you would contact me, I didn't want to believe that you had left without saying anything after all we had been through!" She said, the tears still falling down her cheeks.

"I know, but your father prevented me from telling you anything, and to be honest, if I had done, I would never have been able to leave! So I preferred leaving you this letter, I meant every word I wrote!" Ezra said.

"What letter are you talking about?" She asked, surprised. You didn't let me anything!"

"You haven't read it? Of course I did! I wrote you a letter, I hid it in the book I left on the bookshelf. I knew you would come back to my apartment and that you would find it!" She was dumfounded by this revelation. She had never found any letter but the anger rapidly got the upper hand on the surprise.

"And, how can I know that you're not lying to try to coax me? How can I know that this letter really exists?" She said.

"Aria, I swear, I …. " Ezra began to say.

"STOP!" She interrupted him, in tears," It doesn't matter anymore, I have moved on, and I don't want you to shatter my life once again! You have hurt me enough in the past and I will never forgive you for what you did! I never want to see you again! Do you hear me? Never!"

Before he could add something, she ran away toward the campus, pressing her hand on her mouth to muffle her sobs.

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He wanted to follow her but he didn't do anything, and he merely watched her little form quickly disappear into the night. She was right, he had already hurt her so much, he had no rights to bring up the past, all the more that she had moved on, she was studying in one of the most prestigious universities in the United States, and she had someone in her life_._

" _I never want to see you again!" _Aria's words resounded in his head. It was unbearable to know that she hated him, but it probably was the price to pay for what he had done.

_The sound of the knocks at his door filled his tiny apartment. He got up from his desk to answer the door. He slowly opened the door and he immediately got nervous when he found the middle- aged man in front of him._

"_We need to talk," Byron told him, coldly. Without saying a word Ezra__ stepped__ to the side, allowing his entrance. _

"_I'm going to be brief," Aria's father started. "I know Ella has come around about you and my daughter," he continued. Suddenly Ezra had a hope that maybe Byron was going to come around like his wife had done but, all his hopes disappeared when Byron kept talking._

"_But, I want you to know that I will never agree this relationship. I will never accept that you date my daughter, my teenage daughter," he told him._

"_Byron, I love her," Ezra said. It was all he could say, it was the reason of all he had done since the beginning, because he loved her._

"_I don't care what you feel or what you think you feel. She is a teenager and you were her teacher. What you did is unforgivable, I thought you were a good man, I invited you in my house as a friend, I got you a job, and during all this time you…. with my daughter…." Byron said wit__h a disgust look._

"_Byron, I know this story has affected you but, you need to understand that…." Ezra tried to say._

"_No! It's you who need to understand. If I haven't called the police yet it's only because I didn't have any proof that you started this relationship while you were still her teacher. But now, I got the proofs I was looking for," Byron said._

"_What are you talking about?" Ezra asked, astonished._

"_Someone sent me a lot of photos of the two of you, some of them when you were flirting in your classroom. Apparently, I'm not the only one who doesn't want you with my daughter! So, I want you to leave the town before the end of the week or I would show these photos to the police!" Byron threatened him._

"_And what do you think that Aria will think about that?" Ezra asked the older man, getting angry. _

"_You won't tell her; you will just leave," Byron said._

"_What? You want me to leave her without saying anything?" Ezra said, stunned. He couldn't believe that Aria's father was suggesting such a thing._

"_Yes, and it's exactly what you are going to do!" Byron told him._

"_I can't do this to her__!" Ezra said._

"_Look, you said that you love her, right? So, do you want her to hate me for that? Do you want her to destroy her family? Do you want her to be interrogated by the police after all __she has already been through__? She's a great student, __she can go to whatever college she wants but__, what do you think it's gonna happen if the colleges find out that she has been in a relationship with her high school teacher? This would ruin her future! Is it what you want for her?" Byron said._

_Ezra looked down. It was true, he could ruin Aria's future and it was the last thing he wanted._

"_I just want her to be happy," he replied, trying to keep back tears._

"_So leave! Leave and never come back!" Byron said, looking at him in the eyes._

He had recalled this conversation a billion times. Had he done the right thing by doing what Byron wanted him to do? He knew that if Byron would have gone to the police, his life would have been ruined just as Aria's. But hadn't it been ruined anyway? Wasn't he still paying the price? Leaving her was the hardest thing he had ever done.

He decided to walk a little bit before coming back to his hotel; he needed to clean up his head.

He couldn't handle the image of Aria crying because of him. When he had seen her crying, the only thing he had wanted at this moment was to take her in his arms; but, of course, she wouldn't have let him do it. He had destroyed her. He had seen it in her eyes, he had broken her. He had hurt her more than he had imagined.

He had barely walked ten minutes when his cell phone rang. He took it in his black suit pocket and looked at the tiny screen. It was Sydney, again! She would never stop calling him. He wasn't angry after her, only after himself. After all, he had broken her heart. He had known since the beginning that he wasn't in love with her and that he probably would never be. And yet he had let her fall in love with him; he had let her believe that they had a future together. She had been so hurt when he had broken up with her.

"_How can you do this to me?" The red haired young woman snapped at him, crying._

"_I'm so sorry, Sydney, but I think it's better like that. I can't give you what you really want," he said._

"_It's because of her, isn't it?" Sydney asked him__. He immediately regretted having talked to __her about Aria. A few months ago, in a moment of weakness, he had confessed all about his relationship with Aria, except that she had been his student._

"_No, Sydney, this has nothing to do with her, I swear!" He affirmed to her._

_Sydney shook her head, "It's not true! This has everything to do with her. You have never gotten over her and you know it!" Sydney told him. He opened his mouth to object but closed it and said nothing. There was nothing to say. _

He had broken Aria's heart and now Sydney's. He should have stopped this relationship before she falls in love with him but, once again, he had been a coward.

Why was his life such a mess? He felt so empty, so sorrowful . His life was a complete disaster. He almost never saw his family, he had hurt a poor girl and the only girl he had really been in love with, hated him. How had he let all of that to happen? Of course he perfectly knew the answer. Five years ago, when he was on the point to start his first teaching job, he had met this amazing girl in a tiny college bar. He had talked to her, had kissed her and the next morning, everything had fallen apart when he had discovered that she was her student. But, in spite of everything, he had kept seeing her and had fallen irrevocably and deeply in love with her. Sometimes, when the pain was too important, he couldn't help thinking that he should have stopped seeing her as soon as he had discovered that he was her teacher. He couldn't help but think that he should have listened to his best friend, Hardy, when they had talked about the situation.

"_Man, you're so screwed!" Hardy told him._

"_It's not what you think," he tried to explain. _

"_Oh really? She's your student, isn't she?" Hardy said._

"_Yes, but I met her before I know who she really was," Ezra defended himself._

"_Okay, but it doesn't change anything. You are her teacher; you should stop this relationship before it's too late!" Hardy told him. _

"_I know but ….I can't!" He replied._

"_Look Man, I get it! She's really cute, she's smart, but when everything will be over she will get her diploma and will go to college and you, you will end up in jail! _

"_Hardy…." Ezra tried to say._

"_Trust me, buddy, this relationship will have consequences and you will regret it!" Hardy said._

Hardy was right; this relationship had had consequences, important consequences. After this story, he had never been the same anymore. But Hardy wasn't totally right, he didn't regret what had happened between him and Aria. Despite everything, the time that he had spent with her was the greatest time of his life. How to regret to have met her? How to regret to have loved her?

Suddenly, he glanced at his watch and saw that he had been walking for two hours. He was so lost in his memories that he hadn't even seen time fly.

He came back to his car and reached his hotel one hour later. He went straight to his room; he hadn't eaten yet but he wasn't hungry, he was still too upset with his conversation with Aria. He remembered that he had to call the Dean of Berkeley to talk to him about the conference. But it was late; he could do it tomorrow morning.

He took a shower, put an old T-shirt and disconnected the phone of his room; he didn't want to be disturbed by anybody. He sat down on the arm-chair, in front of the window, and began to read _The Sound and the Fury_, one of the best novels of Faulkner. He had already read it, of course, but he wanted his sophomores to study this book, so he decided to reread it. He read a few pages and stopped. He couldn't focus on the book, the words passed in front of his eyes but they didn't mean anything. There was just one word in his head: Aria! He couldn't get her out of his head. He couldn't believe that she hadn't read the letter he had written to her four years ago.

_He put his pencil on his desk, which was now empty, and looked at the letter he had just written. He tried to contain the tears which were filling his eyes as he read what he had written to the girl he loved__. He then took the little brown envelope and slipped the letter inside__. _

_He didn't know how he was going to give it to her. He couldn't send it to her home; her dad wouldn't give it to her __and, of course, he could not give it to her personally__._

_Suddenly, his look fell down on one of the last two boxes on the floor, which hadn't been put in his car yet, and he knew what he was going to do. He got up, opened the box and took his exemplar of To kill a Mockingbird. It was his favorite book but it also was Aria's favorite book. This book meant a lot to him, because every time he saw it, he thought of her. He opened the book and slipped the letter inside. He then walked toward his empty bookshelf and put the book on the last row. He knew she would come back to his apartment; he knew she would find the book and find the letter. _

_Trying not to imagine the pain she would feel when she would come there and see that he had left, he opened the door and took one last look at the tiny apartment where he had so many memories with Aria before closing the door._

Giving up his reading, he was on the point to go to bed when he heard a knock at the door.

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**Thanks for reading and please let me a review, it's always a pleasure! And , as usual, I'm sorry for my errors.**


	4. Chapter 4

**Thank you so much for your lovely reviews: ****HarrylovesGinny09****, ****Nabrenda12****, Passy****, bite-me-im-irish, MonStErScLosEt , msbookworm93, JoJo Sky. **

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**Chapter four**

** A few hours early**

She ran as fast as her legs could carry her without stopping until she reached the dormitory. She quickly went upstairs, and when she met one of her friends in the corridor, she didn't even stop to greet her. She went straight to her room, locked herself inside, and like a few hours early, she climbed into her bed, tears falling down her cheeks.

She couldn't even think straight; she couldn't even believe that this conversation had just happened! Was it true? Had he told her the truth? She couldn't believe that her father could have done such a thing. When Ezra and she had first told him about their relationship, he had been very upset and extremely angry but he couldn't have done this. He couldn't have asked Ezra to leave her without saying anything.

After Ezra's leaving, she had been so broken, so sorrowful. She spent all her weekends locked in her room, she had lost weight and her mother had been extremely worried. But the person who had helped her the most was her father.

"_Aria, honey, I have a surprise for you!" Her father said, smiling as he entered her room. _

"_What is it?" She asked him. Her father took something in his pocket and showed it to her. In her hands were three plane tickets for New York._

"_I'm taking Mike and you to New York, this weekend!" He said, smiling widely. _

"_Dad, it's amazing! Thank you!" She replied, trying to sound enthusiastic._

"_I thought that a little trip with you and Mike would be nice. I know how much you love this town," he told her._

"_Yes, I do love New York!" She couldn't help remembering __her conversation with Ezra about them, going together to New York after high school. It would never happen._

"_Aria," her father began by sitting on her bed, next to her,"I know you're having a hard time since… well, since it happened, and I really want you to feel better. I know I've not always been the perfect father, but I want you to know that I love you and that I will do everything possible to make you feel better," he tenderly said._

"_I know, dad, thank you so much, and I love you too!" Aria replied._

Her father had been so comprehensive and very helpful, how to believe that he was the one who had destroyed her life? It couldn't be true. She didn't want to believe it. But she needed to know; she couldn't stay uncertain.

She got up, walked up to her desk and took her cell phone before dialing her father's number.

A woman's voice answered on the second ring. Meredith! Aria clenched her teeth together. Why did she pick up his Dad's cell phone? Meredith and her father were together for almost five years, since her parents' divorce. Aria always tried to be nice to her, but she couldn't help it, she didn't like her at all. And no matter how hard she tried, she would always see Meredith as the bitch who had ruined her parents' marriage.

"Meredith, hey! It's Aria!" She said, trying to sound nice. "Can I talk to my father, please?"

"Sure, honey!" Her father's girlfriend replied. Once again, Aria clenched her teeth together. There was something in the way she said "honey" which sounded totally hypocrite.

"Aria, sweetie! How are you?" Her father asked her when he picked up the phone, a few seconds later.

"Hello, dad. I need to ask you something!" She said without answering his question.

"Sweetie, is everything okay? Your voice seems strange," her father asked her.

"Dad, I'm going to ask you something but you have to promise to be completely honest with me," she told her father.

"Aria, what's wrong? I'm getting worried, now," her father replied.

"Dad, you have to promise me!" She insisted.

"Alright, alright, I promise!" Her father complied.

"Dad, do you …," she took a deep breath and asked the question she was dying to ask, "Do you have something to do with Ezra's leaving?" She finally let out.

Her question was followed by a long silence.

"Dad?" She insisted.

"Aria, I…." Her father began to say on the other side of the phone.

"Dad, you promised me! Tell me the truth!" She said, getting irritated.

"Aria, it's almost spring break, we could talk about this when you come back, don't you think it would be better?" Her father asked.

"No, Dad, I need you to tell me the truth now! Did you ask Ezra to leave?" She insisted, raising her voice.

"Yes, I did!" Her father finally confessed. She stayed speechless for a few seconds, stunned.

"No, I can't believe you did that!" She said, feeling tears in her eyes.

"Aria, honey, I…" her father tried to say.

"HOW COULD YOU?" She yelled on the phone.

"Aria, I needed to do something to stop that! This man had taken advantage of you, what he did was unforgivable; I did what every father would have done," he justified himself.

"Damn it, Dad! I was in love with him; we loved each other!" She said, the tears now falling down her face.

"You were seventeen, you were just a kid! " Her father retorted.

"So you threatened him to show the photos to the police, didn't you?" She asked.

"How do you know that?" Her father said, surprise in his tone.

"Dad, answer me!" She ordered.

"Yes! It's what I did!" Her father said.

"How could you do this to me? During months you have taken care of me, you have let me cry on your shoulder, you have told me that you were really sorry for me, and during all this time, you knew why he had left!" She said.

"I did it because I loved you, I wanted you to forget this story as quickly as possible in order to make a fresh start!" her father told her!

"You wanted me to forget? You can't forget someone you love just because someone wants you to! I have never forgotten, I still deal with that! Do you have any idea what you did to me? I thought that the man I loved had left me because he didn't love me anymore!" She said, crying.

"But this guy has never loved you, Aria! " Her father said, raising her voice.

"No! You are the one who has never loved me! When you really love someone you don't destroy his life and it's exactly what you did!" She shouted on the phone.

"You still haven't answered, how do you know what I did?" Her father asked her.

"I just learnt it, that's all," She replied.

"You saw him, didn't you? He contacted you? Aria, I don't want you to see him again, do you hear me? Stay away from him!" Her father told her.

"Dad, STOP! " She yelled on the phone, "I'm not a kid, I'm not sixteen anymore and you have no rights to tell me what to do! I can take my own decisions! And I want you to know that I will never forgive you for what you did!" She told her father, full of anger.

Before her father could add a word, she hung up and turned her phone off to prevent him from calling her again.

So everything was true. Ezra hadn't lied to her. Her father had forced him to leave the town without saying anything. He hadn't left because he didn't love her anymore. It was what she had believed during the past four years. He didn't have any reasons to leave; he wasn't her teacher anymore, her mother was starting to accept their relationship, and in barely one year, she was going to get her diploma and she would turn eighteen so they could leave Rosewood together. Leaving at this moment didn't make any sense, except if he didn't love her anymore, and this had been the most painful part. Living with the idea that the person she loved didn't feel the same way was unbearable. Now, she knew it wasn't the real reason; her father had played a huge role in his leaving.

But it didn't change anything; he should have found a way to talk to her before leaving, to explain to her the situation instead of running away without saying a single word.

She suddenly thought of what he had told her earlier. He had affirmed that he had let a letter in a book. She perfectly remembered this book; it was the only thing staying in his apartment. She had taken it with her and she exactly knew where it was now.

She took off in a sprint toward the closet, on the corner of her small room, and began to seek inside, fighting with Spencer's clothes. A few seconds later she stopped when she finally found what she was looking for, and took a small dusty box out of the closet.

She hadn't opened it since she had left her parents' place but she had never been able to get rid of it, it meant too much to her. She took the box and sat down on her bed. She then opened it. It contained all the vestiges of her relationship with Ezra. She took out and looked at each objet with emotion. The flyer of their favorite movie, _It happened that night_, that they had watched a hundred times, on his couch, in each other's arms. The poem that he had written to her, B-26, in reference to the song played in the bar the day they had met. The art museum tickets where they had gone for their first official date, and the beautiful necklace he had bought her for her seventeen birthday.

"_Come on, open it!" Ezra said, smiling. She fought with the wrapping paper during a few seconds before opening the present that Ezra had given to her, and taking out a red scarf. She took out the cloth and stared at it for a few seconds. It was definitely not what she had been expecting. _

"_You don't like it!" Ezra said._

"_No! I mean, yes, I do, I like it!" She replied, trying to hide her disappointment._

"_Liar! But that's okay because it's not your real present!" He said mysteriously._

"_What do you mean?" She asked him, intrigued._

"_Aria, you didn't seriously think that I would buy you a scarf for your birthday, did you? "He said, smirking. He then took something in his pocket and gave her a red jewel case. She quickly opened it to find a beautiful silver feather necklace. Of course he had caught her obsession for the feathers. She couldn't help it; since she was a little girl she had always had a weird obsession for the feathers._

"_Is it better?" Ezra asked her._

"_Are you kidding? It's perfect!" She said, raising herself on tiptoes to kiss him._

"_The scarf is to hide the necklace so your parents won't ask questions!" He informed her._

"_Thank you so much, Ezra," she tenderly replied._

"_Happy birthday, Aria!" Ezra told her, caressing her cheek with his thumb._

"_So, I guess, I have to do something to thank you!" Aria seductively said, licking her lips._

"_I was hoping you would say that! That is why I bought the scarf!" Ezra said, wrapping his arms around her waist, pulling her closer._

"_What? I thought it was to hide the necklace," she said, astonished._

"_Yeah, but especially, it's to hide what I'm about to do to you!" He said before leaning to kiss her neck, sucking the most sensitive spots._

_"You planed all of this!" She said, giggling before moaning when his mouth sucked an incredibly sensitive spot._

_"Is it a problem?" He asked, removing his mouth from her neck to look at her._

_"Absolutely not!" She said, pushing him toward the bed._

She finally found what she was looking for. In the bottom of the box was the old exemplar of _To kill a mockingbird_. It was her favorite book and also Ezra's favorite. She had fallen in love with this book the first time she had read it when she was fourteen. This story which portrayed the life in America in the thirties during the racial segregation, and narrated by a little girl, was a beautiful tolerance lesson and a criticism of the human being's stupidity. Ezra and she used to talk about this book, sharing theories.

She took the book out of the box and shook it. A brown envelope fell on the floor. So it was true. Ezra hadn't lied. When she had found the book she had never even opened it. She was so blinded with her pain and her anger that she had put it in the box with all the stuffs which made her think about him and she had never opened it again. How could she have been so stupid? It was their favorite book; it was obvious that he had let it on purpose. He knew that she would open the book and find the letter. But unfortunately, he was wrong.

She picked up the letter and sat down on her bed. Her heart was pounding hotfoot as she opened the old envelope to find a little paper, doubled up and slightly yellowish. She unfolded it with her trembling hands and began to read.

A few minutes later, a tear rolled down her cheek and fell on the paper as she finished reading the letter.

During all this time she had had this letter with her without knowing it. This letter would have been able to appease her pain, at least a little bit. Living with the thought that the only person that she had ever loved had left her because she didn't feel the same way anymore, had been a real torture. Now, she knew that it wasn't true.

She stayed a few minutes on her bed; thoughtful, and she suddenly got up, put the letter in her pocket, grabbed her keys and got out of the room as fast as possible.

She rushed downstairs and ran toward the parking lot reserved for the students, causing a small group of students, in front of the dormitory, to look at her weirdly. As she ran she glanced at her watch which indicated a quarter past ten. It was getting late but she had to see him, at least one more time. This time she wouldn't let him leave without saying goodbye.

She came in her car and took off. She didn't have any idea where Ezra was spending the night and she mentally cursed herself for not having asked. The nearest hotel was Alost Harlem so she drove toward it. She reached the hotel in a few minutes and she double-parked in front of the building, without caring of the door-keeper's protestation cries. She went straight to the receptionist's office, and she addressed the woman, breathless.

"Do you have someone by the name of Fitz?" She asked. The woman looked at her register, and after a few seconds that seemed to last hours, she replied,

"I'm sorry; miss, but we don't have anybody by this name!"

Without even thanking the woman, Aria got out of quickly of the hotel and went back to her car. There were hundreds of hotels in the city; she couldn't go to all of them! She tried in four other hotels, but they all gave her the same answer than the first: they didn't have anybody by the name of Fitz.

Losing hope and watching the time go by, she was on the point to give up but she decided to go to another hotel. _The last one._ She swore to herself. She reached the Harlem _bed and breakfast _around eleven o'clock. Like for the last hotels she asked the receptionist if someone by the name of Ezra Fitz had taken a room. The woman looked at her register and contrary to all expectations she answered her,

"Yes, we have a client of this name, he's leaving on Saturday morning."

Aria let out a sigh of relief.

"Can you give me his room number, please?" She asked the young woman.

"I'm sorry but we never give our clients' room numbers, it's one of our rules. But, I can call his room, if you want?" The woman said.

"Yes, please," Aria replied, irritated. The young woman took the phone and dialed a number. Aria waited, impatiently, twisting her fingers nervously.

"I'm sorry, miss, but he has apparently disconnected the phone and I'm not able to reach him. But if you leave me your name or your phone number I could ask him to call you back tomorrow morning," the woman told her, smiling.

"No, you don't understand, I have to see him immediately, it's extremely important," Aria said, losing patience.

"Once again, I'm sorry, but we have a very strict policy, and we don't importune our clients when they don't want to be disturbed. I'm sorry but I can't help you." The woman told her. Aria made a huge effort to control herself. The only thing she wanted was to tear the register away from the woman's hands but she suddenly got a better idea.

"Look, I'm her little sister; our mother has been rushed to hospital. It's pretty serious; that is why I need to see my brother!" She lied, trying to sound as convincing as possible. She felt guilty for inventing such a lie but she had to see him no matter what, and it was the only thing that had come to her mind.

"Oh, I'm sorry; you should have told me earlier. Of course, I'm going to give you his room number, wait a second…. It's the room 245," the woman told her, giving her the information she was waiting for.

"Thank you so much," Aria said.

"You're welcome and I hope that everything is going to be okay for your mother," the woman added.

Aria gave her a weak smile and turned over before the woman could see her face red with shame in front of a sick mother who didn't even exist.

She took the elevator and made her way toward Ezra's room.

She suddenly felt really anxious. She didn't know what she was going to tell him; she hadn't planned anything. And maybe he was with someone; it's why he had disconnected the telephone. This thought made her sick.

Maybe she still could leave after all. But it was too late now; she had to talk to him.

She stopped in front of the room 245, hesitated a few seconds, closed her eyes, took a deep breath and finally knocked on the door.

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**I know, you are probably going to hate me for this other cliffhanger but this chapter was necessary. You were probably hoping to see Ezra's letter but it's in the next chapter. Please review to tell me what you think .**

**Sorry for my errors.**

**xoxo**


	5. Chapter 5

**Thank you so much for your reviews: xTwilightxSparklesx , Crazy-fan-in-a-crazy-world, Nabrenda12, Deemi, msbookworm93, HarrylovesGinny09 and Passy.**

**Sorry for the wait.**

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**Chapter five**

He looked at the clock on the bedside table: 11:45. Who could it be? It was too late to disturb people; this hotel didn't respect his clients' tranquility. Biliously, he made his way toward the door and opened it.

"Aria!" He said, bewildered when he spotted her, standing in front of his door. She was the last person he had expected to see, especially after their last conversation.

"What…what are you doing here? How did you find me?" He asked her. He didn't remember having told her which hotel he was spending the night in. He saw her looking at his room as if she was looking for something or for someone.

"Aria?" Ezra insisted.

"I read your letter!" Aria said without answering his question. She then opened her little black purse and took an envelope out of it. He immediately recognized the old yellowish envelope where he had slipped his letter.

"Did you really mean what you wrote?" Aria asked him, holding the brown envelope as though she wanted him to read it. But he didn't need to; even four years later, he perfectly remembered every word he had written in this letter.

_Aria,_

_I know you probably hate me for leaving like that, but trust me, leaving you is the hardest thing that I have ever done in my entire life. You probably think that I'm a coward to leave you like that, and you probably are right, but I want you to know that our story is the most real and honest thing of my all life, __and I can't let people turn it into something wrong._

_Meeting you and loving you are the best things that ever happened to me, and I will always be grateful for all the moments I spent with you. _

_You changed me, Aria__. __I have already talked to you about this quote by Joseph Campbell that goes: "__you must give up a life you had planned in order to have the life that's waiting for you", but it's exactly what happened to me.__ Before you came in my life, I was trying to follow a way I had forced myself to follow and where everything was neat and tidy. You have been a real storm,__and you taught me that sometimes life could be unpredictable, and that you don't have to be afraid to follow your heart in order to live amazing moments. _

_The destiny has put you on my road; I want to believe that this same destiny will reunite us again, one day. But until this day I want you to be happy, I want you to enjoy every day because you deserve it, more than anyone._

_Take care of yourself._

_I love you and always will._

_Ezra_

Aria's heart was thumping against her rib-cage as she was waiting for his answer. Ezra looked at her in the eyes.

"Of course I did! I meant every word I wrote in this letter." He paused for a moment, staring deeply into her beautiful hazel eyes.

"And I still mean it!" He added without breaking their intense look.

She opened her mouth but before she could say anything, he pulled her toward him and pressed his mouth against hers. She closed her eyes and shivered at his contact that she hadn't forgotten.

He slowly interrupted his kiss and looked at her, as if he was waiting for her approval to continue. She didn't know what to do. Her head told her to stop, that he had hurt her too much in the past, but her heart and her body wanted him so badly. She took a deep breath, and, giving up the fight against herself, she pressed herself flush against him and kissed him fervently.

Without breaking their kiss, Ezra closed the door which was still open and wrapped his arms around her waist, pulling her even closer. He gently traced her lower lip with his tongue, and she instantly responded by opening her mouth a little wider, allowing his entrance. When their tongues began to caress each other, she felt sparks throughout her body. He had always been the only one who was able to make her feel this way. He then pulled away her jacket from her shoulders, kissing her deeper.

Her hands snaked down to the hem of his T-shirt and she pulled it over his head as he began to unzip her little purple dress before letting it fall to the floor.

He pressed her back against the wall, and his mouth moved down her neck where he placed some wet and hot kisses on her soft skin causing her to moan.

Aria's senses were oversize; it was so good to be kissing him after all this time apart. Her skin was burning under his mouth as his hands slipped along her body, caressing her bare skin. She undid his belt and he pulled away to remove his pans before throwing them on the floor. She needed more! She needed him!

She broke their embrace and looked at him in his eyes. There was just one thing she wanted at this moment, just one thing she needed.

"Make love to me, Ezra," she whispered, breathless.

He gently caressed her cheek with his thumb before kissing her hungrily. He slipped his hands under her thighs and she took the occasion to wrap her legs around his waist. Still kissing her, he carried her over to the bed where he slowly settled her petite body onto the mattress before placing himself on top of her. He intertwined his fingers with her as he honored his request and made love to the girl he had never been able to forget.

* * *

Aria woke up the following morning in Ezra's arms, their bodies tangled under the sheets. She didn't want to open her eyes immediately, enjoying this magic moment. They had made love almost all the night. She couldn't believe this had happened, never she would have thought that she would see him again even less that she would spend the night with him.

Ezra woke up a few minutes after and looked at Aria, sleeping by his side. So it was true, it wasn't a dream. The past few hours had been so magic that he had begun to think that it was an illusion. He gently brushed a wavy piece of hair off Aria's face and she slowly opened her eyes. Her lips spread into a smile when she saw him.

"Hey, you!" He said, placing a peck on her lips. She softly smiled and she snuggled down beside him as he kissed the top of her head.

"What's wrong?" Ezra suddenly asked her after a few seconds. She opened her eyes, astonished.

"Why are you asking me that?" She asked him.

"I know you, Aria; I know when something bothers you. So what is it? Are you feeling guilty about your…. boyfriend?" Ezra asked her, saying reluctantly the word "boyfriend". The idea of Aria with somebody else made him ill; but he knew she had had a life during four years; there was nothing that he could do against that. He just hoped she didn't regret the night they had just spent together.

Aria was confused at first, but then she remembered having told him about Alex. She sighed. Alex!

_Aria stepped in Alex's room and immediately stopped when she caught him, his shirt unbutton, stuck against Linda's mouth, a freshman. __She exactly knew what they were on the point to do and she was grateful not to be arrived a few minutes later__. _

_Without saying a word she rushed out of her boyfriend's university room._

"_Aria, wait!" Alex called after her as she was leaving the building. _

"_Don't waste your time, Alex, I get it!" She told him __without even stopping. _

"_Oh, don't act as if it was just my fault!" Alex said. She immediately stopped, stunned._

"_What? So it's my fault if you've cheated on me?" She asked, getting angry._

"_No, but you pushed me to do it!" Alex replied._

"_I pushed you?" She snapped. _

"_Yes, you did! " Alex confirmed. "Since the beginning I have always been the one who did everything possible to make this relationship work. I had very strong feelings for you and I still have, but Aria I can't continue like this. Every time I told you that I loved you, you have never told __me back! Never__! In almost a year! I'm just tired of being the only one who cares about this relationship!"_

"_Alex, I'm sorry!" Aria tried to say. _

"_At the beginning I thought that you needed time that you were afraid, but now I know I was wrong!" Alex interrupted her. "I know you have never told me that you loved me because you didn't feel the same way. You have never really loved me and you will never do!" Alex said, convinced._

"_No, I…." Aria tried to find words to justify herself._

"_Tell me I am wrong, Aria?" Alex confronted her. She would have loved to tell him that he was wrong, that she was in love with him, that she loved him but she couldn't. She couldn't say the three words that Alex was waiting for her to say, and that she had only said to one person in her whole life._

"About that," Aria hesitantly said, "I lied to you; I don't have a boyfriend!" She confessed. She saw Ezra's lips spreading into a smile.

"So, this Alex guy has never existed?" He asked her.

"No, he is real, but we broke up two months ago!" She told Ezra. Once again she noticed a small smile on the corner of his mouth.

"Well, I would love to say that I'm sorry but the truth is I'm not!" Ezra said before kissing her temple sweetly.

"But, if it's not that, so what is the problem?" He asked her, playing with a lock of her long hair .

"Nothing, Ezra, don't worry, I was just thinking of my father, I still can't believe he did what he did!" She told him, hoping that he was going to buy it. But of course, it wasn't the real problem but she didn't want to think about it right now; she just wanted to enjoy being in his arms.

"Yes, but you know, he is not the only one to blame! I should have fought for you, I realize it now!" Ezra told her before leaning to kiss her.

They stayed long minutes in each other's arms without saying anything, just enjoying the moment until Ezra broke the silence which was filling the room.

"Aria, I think you should get ready or you're going to be late for college," he told her, caressing her hair.

"Hum, maybe I could skip and spend the day with you, what do you think?" Aria said.

"I would like it, but you need to go to school! Which kind of professor would I be if I encouraged a student to skip class?" Ezra said, smiling.

Aria smirked. "I don't know, maybe the kind who has spent the night making love to one of them!" She replied, teasing him.

"Touché!" Ezra said before they both burst out laughing. He felt happy, it was so good to hear her laughing, he had missed it so much.

"You know what? I could pick you up tonight after your last class, and we could go to a restaurant, what do you think?" Ezra asked her. A sad expression crossed Aria's face but before he could ask her what was going on a smile replaced it. Maybe he had misinterpreted after all.

"Yeah, I would love to!" She replied, enthusiastically.

"Come on, now, go to take a shower while I order breakfast! " He told her. As Aria didn't make a move, he whispered in her ear, "Would you be more motivated if I said that I will join you in the shower?"

Aria immediately got up and walked toward the bathroom as Ezra watched her, smiling widely. She stopped at the bathroom door and turned over to look at him

"So? I'm waiting!" She said, smiling at him seductively.

Ezra laughed before getting up from the bed and joining Aria in the bathroom.

After their common shower which lasted more time that necessary, they quickly ate breakfast before leaving the room.

"Mr. Fitz?" The receptionist called out as soon as they got out of the elevator. Ezra stopped and walked toward the receptionist's office.

"Yes?" He asked the woman.

"I just want to take some news of your mother, I hope she is alright!" The woman said. Ezra looked at her, totally lost. He didn't have any idea what she was talking about.

"Excuse me, my mother?" He asked, furrowing his brows.

"Yes, your sister explained to me the situation yesterday night," the receptionist replied.

"What are you talking about? My sister? I don't even ….." Before he could add one more word, Aria, who had watched the interaction between Ezra and the woman, joined him in front of the receptionist's office and slipped an arm under his.

"Yeah, Ezra, I had to tell her because she didn't want to give me your room number. You know for mommy." Aria said, frowning. She turned to the woman, "Thank you for asking, she's getting better, right, bro?" She smiled to Ezra. As Ezra stayed speechless, Aria discreetly squeezed his arm.

"Yes…sis!" Ezra hesitantly said. They gave a wide smile to the woman who watched them leave weirdly.

As she was walking toward the exit, Aria made a mental note to herself to never come back in this hotel if she needed a place to spend the night.

* * *

As promised, Ezra picked her up after her last course of the day, and he brought her to an Italian restaurant.

They spent an amazing evening, he asked a lot of questions about her studies at Columbia and she did the same with his job at Berkeley, and, of course, they shared a lot of good memories back to Rosewood. After the dinner they walked a little bit, enjoying the nice and warm spring evening before coming back to his hotel, making their best to avoid the receptionist. Once they reached Ezra's room they decided to watch a movie but they quickly gave up in the middle of the film to start another kind of activities.

As she was gently starting to fall asleep in Ezra's arms, her head on his chest, Aria controlled herself not to tell him these same three words Alex wanted her so badly to say. But instead she softly settled closer to him and closed her eyes.

While he was watching Aria, sleeping beside him, Ezra realized how he had missed her and how much he still loved her. This scene of Aria, sleeping with her long hair on her face took him back a few years earlier, the first time he had told her that he loved her. Aria had always believed that she had been the first to tell him these three little words, the day when he was on the point to give his resignation because of Noel's threats, but she was wrong. He had been the first.

"_Can we just stay here for a moment?" Aria asked him, her eyes filled with tears that threatened to escape. _

_Aria had left her mother's gallery to come to see him at his apartment. At first he had asked her to leave but he had caught her in the corridor. He knew that everything was falling __apart with her family and that she needed some comfort, he couldn't let her like __this. He crossed the short distance between them and gently wrapped his arms around her, kissing the top of her head. He held her against him for long minutes, caressing her long dark hair until she finally broke their embrace._

"_Do you feel better?" He asked her, __slowly brushing her cheek with his thumb__. Aria nodded and gave him a weak smile._

"_Thank you!" She said, softly._

"_Do you want to come in a little bit?" He asked her before he could know what he was saying. It wasn't clever; she was her student; but he couldn't let her like this; he just couldn't._

"_Yes," Aria hesitantly replied.__He smiled at her and let her come inside his little apartment._

"_Sorry for the mess," he apologized for his books __which were here and there. _

"_I was about to watch a movie, would you like to see it with me? I could drive you home after?" He __asked. _

"_Yes, sure!" She said. She sat down on his couch while he was putting the movie in the DVD player and he joined her on the couch. They looked at each other awkwardly before he opened his arms._

"_Come here!" He told her. She immediately settled in his arms and they watched the movie in __each other's arms. Before the end of the movie, Aria fell asleep._

_Ezra sighed. He knew he was going to have to wake her up, but he just wanted the moment to last a few more seconds__. __He couldn't help noticing how beautiful she was when she was asleep. It was at this moment that the reality hit him. He didn't just have a crush on her, he loved her__. She was her student, she was sixteen, it was wrong, so wrong but he couldn't help it. He didn't know what he would do but the only thing he was sure of was that he was in love with her._

_He brushed a piece of hair off her face before leaning toward her ear. _

"_I love you Aria," he whispered in the sleeping girl's ear__._

Yes, he had always loved her and he regretted not having told her this night. He hadn't wanted to rush things but he couldn't wait; after all they had already lost four years.

_Tomorrow, as soon as she wakes up, I will tell her_. He promised himself before closing his eyes.

* * *

Aria opened her eyes and glanced at the clock on the bedside table; it was barely six o'clock.

She turned her head to look at the man, still asleep, beside her. She had been so happy these past two days. _He_ made her happy; it was the effect he had on her, but she also knew how miserable he still could make her feel. She finally allowed herself to think of the thing she had prevented herself from thinking during the past few days: he was going to leave. She perfectly remembered what the receptionist had told her "_he is leaving on Sunday" _and today was Sunday. No matter how happy she had felt during the hours that she had spent with him, it wasn't going to last. His life was in California or in Florida where he had found a new job, but not here in New York. Once again she would lose him and she didn't know if she would be able to handle it again.

She glanced at Ezra and for the first time she understood what he was meaning when he had told her that if he had told her that he was leaving, four years ago, he wouldn't have been able to leave. Saying goodbye was the hardest part and she didn't know if she would have the courage to do it.

She stayed a few minutes in the bed, listening Ezra's regular respiration before getting up slowly from the bed.

She had gotten her answer: she couldn't say goodbye. It was better this way.

She picked up her clothes on the floor and quickly dressed up. She walked up to the door, opened it as quietly as possible, glanced a last time at the man sleeping in the bed, this same man she knew that she was still in love with, and left the room.

* * *

** I hope you liked it , at least a little bit ^^. Please tell me what you think and sorry for the errors.**

**xoxo**


	6. Chapter 6

**Thank you so much to everyone who has reviewed: lulytaJB, Guest , ****Passy,****msbookworm93,****HarrylovesGinny09**** ,****Deemi, **** xxPaige23xx and ****Crazy-fan-in-a-crazy-world. And to everyone who read this story even if they don't review.**

* * *

**Chapter six**

Aria left the hotel and took a taxi to come back to Columbia. She entered into the yellow vehicle and wiped a tear that was rolling down her face.

_"Allie is so stupid; seriously, she is in love with him so why the hell does she leave him?" Aria said, shaking her head in frustration as on the screen, Allie ran away from Noah, in her car._

_Spencer, Emilie, Hanna and her, were all sitting on Hanna's bed watching the Notebook during one of their usual sleepover._

_Emily looked at her and nodded in agreement. "Yes, you're right; she is messing up her life instead of being happy with the man she loves."_

_"I totally agree!" Hanna added._

_"I think I understand her," Spencer suddenly said. The three other girls looked at her astonished. _

_"I mean," Spencer explained, "she had already been through a lot of pain; she's just protecting herself from being hurt again," _

_"Well, I'm sorry but I don't! I don't see why some people always make things complicated instead of just being happy and if your theory is true so Allie is just a coward, that's all," Aria replied, totally convinced._

She had never really understood what Spencer was meaning; for her, when you were in love with someone you had to fight for this person no matter what. But now she did. She wasn't the girl she used to be before Ezra's leaving. This girl who wasn't afraid of taking risks and who fought for what she believed in. She wasn't this girl anymore. This story had changed her .She had been so hurt in the past; the last thing she wanted was to be hurt again. She didn't want to be broken-hearted once again; no matter if she was still in love with him, she didn't want to let her feelings take the upper hand.

Half an hour later, the taxi parked in front of her dormitory. She paid the driver and made her way toward her room.

When she entered her small room she noticed a suitcase on Spencer's bed.

"Hey, you!" Spencer suddenly said as she was leaving the bathroom, a towel around her body.

"Spence! You're back! I thought you were staying in Rosewood until Monday." Aria said to her best friend.

"Yes, I know. But my mother wanted me to go back here," Spencer said.

"How is your sister?" Aria asked her.

"Well, she's a mess! I don't blame her; I think I wouldn't be different if my fiancé had left me on my wedding day!" Spencer said.

Aria shook her head. "I have always known that Garrett was a jerk," she told Spencer.

"Yeah, me too! But you know Melissa, she is so damn stubborn!" Spencer said, shaking her head.

"But that's life! She will get over it!" Spencer added.

"Yeah, life can suck sometimes!" Aria said, and she wasn't talking only about Melissa's situation.

"What about you? Is everything okay? Where are you coming from?" Spencer asked Aria. She didn't know if she wanted to tell Spencer what had happened with Ezra the past two days. Of course, Spencer knew all about her story with Ezra but she wasn't sure if she was ready to talk to her about what had just happened.

"I went for a walk!" She lied, choosing to keep it for herself.

"With these shoes?" Spencer asked her, suspiciously, glancing at her extremely high heels. She immediately regretted her lame lie. She used to be a better liar.

" Yeah, I…" Aria tried to say.

"Aria, are you sure that you're okay? You seem strange. If something's going on, you can talk to me," Spencer told Aria with concern.

"No, I'm fine, don't worry," Aria tried to reassure her friend. Spencer furrowed her brows and looked at her, suspicion all over her face. It was obvious that she didn't believe her. Maybe she was a good liar but she had never been able to lie to Spencer. She knew her too well.

Surrendering, she walked toward her bed, sat down and relieved a deep breath.

"I saw Ezra!" She finally confessed. Spencer looked at her amazed, her eyes wide open.

"Ezra like Ezra Fitz? Like our English teacher? Like the love of your life? Like…" Spencer said astonished.

"Yes, this one!" Aria cut her.

"Oh my God!" Spencer let out. "Was he here? Did you talk to him?" She asked Aria, excited.

"Yeah, he was here for a conference, the day before yesterday. And yes, we talked," she told Spencer.

"Did he finally tell you why he had left?" Spencer asked her.

"Yes, he told me that my father had forced him to leave!" Aria confessed.

"God! Did your father really do such a thing? "Spencer doubted like Aria when Ezra had first told her.

"Yes, he did! I called him and he told me the truth! He threatened him to call the police if he didn't leave the town," Aria said.

"Wow! I would never have imagined such a thing!" Spencer said, surprised.

"Me neither! Trust me!" She replied, thinking of what her father had done. She knew it would take her a very long time to forgive him, if she even could forgive him some day.

"But Ezra should have informed you before leaving!" Spencer added.

The letter instantly came to Aria's mind.

"He did, I mean kind of! He wrote me a letter, but I had never found it!" Aria said.

"So, what happened with Ezra? You saw him yesterday, right?" Spencer asked.

Aria kept silent for a few seconds which were enough for Spencer to figure out.

"Oh God, you slept with him! You were with him last night!" Spencer said, smiling widely.

"No….I…." Aria stuttered.

"Oh, you totally did!" Spencer said, sure of herself. Aria complied; not wanting to waste her time trying to find a credible lie.

"Fine, we slept together," she admitted. After I read his letter, I went to see him at his hotel, and well, it's happened, and I spent the evening with him yesterday night." Aria told her friend.

"And the night too, apparently. You aren't coming from a walk; you were with him, weren't you?" Spencer asked.

"Yes, I was with him," Aria replied.

"How was it?" Spencer asked. Aria rolled her eyes and blushed.

Spencer laughed as she saw her friend's cheeks turning bright red.

"Don't worry, I don't want any detail! I mean, how was it to see him, to be with him after all this time apart?" She asked Aria. Aria sighed as she remembered the sensation of his soft lips on hers, of his hands running all over her body, of his touches on her bare skin, of his fingers through her hair. It had been so perfect; it had felt just so right. She hadn't felt this way since four years, since he had left her.

"It was amazing!" She told Spencer with a sad smile. Spencer smiled widely at her friend.

"So you and him are back together?" Spencer asked, curiously. Aria cast her eyes down.

"No, we're not!" She let out.

Spencer frowned, confusion all over her face. "I'm confused; why not?"

"He is leaving today. He teaches in California, he was here only for the conference," Aria replied.

"He is leaving after what happened between you two? " Spencer asked, furrowing her brows.

"His life is in California, not here!" Aria sadly replied.

"Is it what he said?" Spencer asked.

"No, he didn't say that," Aria replied.

"So, what did he say exactly?" Spencer insisted. Aria hesitated a few moments before replying.

"Nothing! Yesterday we didn't even talk about his leaving, and this morning I left before he wakes up!" Aria confessed.

"What? Why did you do that?" Spencer asked, bewildered.

"Because, I just… I didn't want to say goodbye, it would have been too painful!" Aria told her friend.

"But, you had been angry with him during years for having left you without saying anything, and now, you're doing the same thing to him!" Spencer said with a tone full of reproach.

"I know, but I don't want to go through the same things again. When he left I have been a mess, I don't want that to happen again, okay?" Aria said, raising her voice, annoyed by Spencer's reproaches. She already felt bad enough; she didn't need Spencer to judge her.

"But maybe he wants to be with you, I'm sure he still loves you!" Spencer said.

She wasn't really sure about it; after all he hadn't said it.

"Look, Spence, I don't want to be hurt again. The last time, I succeeded to get back on one's feet but I don't think I could do that a second time. You should understand that," Aria said.

"I do, but, Aria, I'm sure that you will suffer again anyway," Spencer told her.

"Maybe, but it's better that way, Spence, trust me, I know what I'm doing," she said.

"I'm gonna take a shower," she quickly added before Spencer could object, putting an end to the conversation.

Spencer watched her best friend entering the bathroom and shook her head as soon as she closed the door. She didn't want to be hurt again but Spencer knew that it was already too late for that.

* * *

"Do you want to come with me to the library; there are some books that I need?" Spencer asked Aria as soon as she got out of the shower.

"Don't mind, Spence, but I'm not in a very good mood, I prefer to stay here," she told her friend. Spencer was about to object when they heard a knock on their door.

"I get it!" Spencer said, making her way toward the door as Aria brushed her wet hair.

"Aria, there is someone for you!" Spencer hesitantly told her, before opening the door to allow the visitor's entrance. Aria raised her head to see Ezra, stepping into their little university room.

"Ezra? What are you doing here?" Aria asked, amazed.

"Aria, I'm going to the library," Spencer said, not wanting to be in the middle of an important conversation.

"Okay, see you later," Aria replied, thanking her silently.

"What are you doing here?" Aria asked again as soon as Spencer closed the door behind her. Ezra looked at her as if the answer was obvious.

"I don't know, maybe because when I woke up this morning you were already gone!" He answered. "Why did you leave like that? Is it a kind of revenge for what I did four years ago?" He asked her.

"What? No, of course not," Aria declared. It hadn't been her intention at all and she didn't want Ezra to believe this.

"So, why? Why did you leave like that? " Ezra insisted.

"Because it's better this way," she said.

"What do you mean by _it's better this way_?" Ezra asked her, confusion etched all over his face.

Aria explained. "I just thought it was better if we didn't say goodbye to each other, that's all!"

"So, you just wanted to leave without saying anything?" He asked her. He immediately regretted his words. How could he reproach her to leave without a word, when he'd done exactly the same thing a few years ago?

"Aria, it's not what I wanted to say, but do the last two days mean nothing to you?" He asked her. Aria swallowed hard and looked at him with her glossy eyes.

"Yes, of course they do! But I want to see that as an opportunity for us to have been able to make things up," she said.

"What does it mean? That now we have to stop seeing each other? Ezra said.

"You're leaving today anyway, right?" Aria said.

"Yes, it was what I had planned but I can stay a few more days," Ezra told her.

"And after that? What will happen? I'm studying here, in New York and you work in California, how do you want us to be together?" She said.

"Aria, that's not a problem, I can find a job here," Ezra insisted. Aria shook her head.

"Ezra, you can't keep quitting all your jobs for me, that's not an option. Since the beginning, you and I have had so much trouble, it was as if the whole world didn't want us together and maybe it was for a reason," Aria told him.

"What are you saying?" Ezra asked her, furrowing his brows.

"I'm saying that maybe the reason why we couldn't be together was because we're not meant to be together!" Aria sadly replied.

"Come on Aria; don't tell me that you believe this shit?" Ezra said, amazed by Aria's explanation.

"You're the one who was speaking about the destiny in your letter," Aria told him.

"Aria, this is totally…" Ezra began to say.

"Look, Ezra," She cut him in the middle of his sentence, "I shouldn't have left like that, this morning, I just thought that it would be easier because I didn't want to say goodbye but I realize that it was a mistake," Aria said.

She continued before he could misinterpret her sentence. "I realize that seeing you again permitted me to understand why you really left four years ago and it also permitted me to forgive you. But now, we need to say goodbye, it's the only way to move on, no matter how hard it is, we need to say goodbye to each other."

"Aria, please, I don't want to say goodbye. We don't have to. Aria, I lo…" He began to say before she stopped him.

"Ezra, don't! Please don't say that; this will just make things more painful for the both of us," Aria said.

"But Aria..."

"Ezra, please," Aria said, pleadingly.

Ezra stared at her for a moment. He didn't want to hurt her; he didn't want to make things worse. He was still deeply and irrevocably in love with her and he wanted to be with her more than anything, but if it was what she wanted, so he was going to respect it, no matter how difficult it was. It was the least that he could do after what he had done to her.

"Is it really what you want?" He asked her.

Of course it wasn't! The only thing she wanted was to be in his arms and stay like this forever but she kept fighting with her feelings.

"Yes, it's what I want," she replied in a low murmur.

Ezra nodded. "So, I guess it's time to say goodbye," he said.

"Yes," she said softly, her voice broken by the tears which was forming in her throat.

They stared at each other awkwardly during a few seconds, not sure what to do until Ezra moved slowly toward her, closing the gap between the two of them. He cupped her face in his hands and gently pressed his lips against hers. She shivered when he lowered his arms down to her waist, pulling her closer to him. He delicately traced her bottom lip with his tongue and she opened her mouth, allowing his entrance and permitting their tongues to softly begin to caress each other. This kiss wasn't hungry like the ones they used to share; it was sensual and soft and it made her shiver.

The first time he had left her, she hadn't known that the last kiss they had shared was the last one but this time she knew it and she didn't want it to stop. But it did.

Ezra pulled away from her a few seconds later, and pressed his forehead against hers. Then he lifted up his head to look at her in the eyes. He gently caressed her cheek with his thumb without breaking their intense look. She stared deeply into his dark blue eyes and tears popped at the corner of her eyes at the thought that it was the last time she was seeing him.

Ezra took a deep breath before saying the painful word he had to say.

"Goodbye, Aria," he told her with a husky voice because of the tears that he was desperately trying to keep back.

Aria swallowed hard and did her best to prevent the tears from falling down her face.

"Goodbye, Ezra," she replied softly, biting her lip.

He gently smiled at her, tears in his eyes and left the room without turning around. She had a hard time not running after him to ask him to stay but because she was scared and maybe because, like Allie in the Notebook, she was a coward, she didn't do anything and made the biggest mistake of her life by letting go the person she loved.

_A tear rolled down her cheek as she understood what his empty apartment meant. He was gone. Without saying anything. The man she loved more than anything had left her. Why had he done that? All of a sudden she burst into tears unable to control herself any longer. Hysterical sobs escaped her lips preventing her from breathing properly._

_As the tears came faster down her face, the verses of a poem by _W. H. Auden, Funeral blues, _that__ she had read a few months ago came to her mind._

**_He was my North, my South, my East and West,  
My working week and my Sunday rest,  
My noon, my midnight, my talk, my song;  
I thought that love would last forever: I was wrong.  
_****_The stars are not wanted now: put out every one;  
Pack up the moon and dismantle the sun;  
Pour away the ocean and sweep up the wood.  
For nothing now can ever come to any good._**

_It was exactly what she was feeling at this moment, as she was alone in Ezra's empty apartment. She felt like her heart was breaking and her whole world was falling apart. It was the sensation that you feel when instead of seeing your future in front of you, you just see a big black hole. The person she cared the most about had left, and she knew that, no matter what would happen; nothing would ever be the same._

_Her legs began to tremble and she let herself slide against the wall until she reached the floor, still trying to catch her breath. _

When Ezra closed the door of her small university room, things happened exactly in the same way than four years ago, except that this time, she was the only one to blame.

* * *

**Yes, I know, it's pretty sad, don't hate me , please?**

**Tell me what you think and sorry for my errors, feel free to point out any of them.**

**xoxo**


	7. Chapter 7

**Thank you to everyone who reviewed!**

**So, this is the last chapter.**

* * *

**Chapter seven**

"_Welcome to JFK international airport!"_ The woman's voice announced over the loudspeaker as Ezra came in the big airport.

After having left Aria, he had come back to his hotel to pack his stuffs and had taken a taxi up to the airport.

He checked in and went to sit down on a seat while waiting for his flight.

When he had taken his plane, three days ago, never he would have imagined that so many things were going to happen. Never he would have imagined that he would find the girl he had left behind him four years ago, that he would make love to her and would realize that he was still deeply in love with her but especially that he would have to leave her again.

Was it a chance or a curse? Of course, the last few days had permitted him to explain to her why he had left four years ago and at least he was going to live without this horrible thought that she hated him. But now he also remembered how amazing it felt to be with her. He had never forgotten of course, but those moments he had spent with her the last few days had reminded him how much he loved her. How was he going to continue his life in California now that he had spent these wonderful moments with her? How could he move on after that? How could he even think of dating another woman after having made love to the one he loved?

The only thing he wanted was her. But he wanted to respect her decision; it was the least he could do after all that had happened between them.

"Ezra?" A familiar voice suddenly pulled him out of his thoughts. Ezra turned around to see a man holding a little girl, around two years old, in his arms. It took him a few seconds to recognize the man who used to be his best friend.

"Hardy!" Ezra exclaimed. Hardy had been his college roommate and he had quickly become his best friend. Their friendship had continued a few years after they graduated but unfortunately they had moved in different states and they had lost contact. Ezra hadn't seen him or even talked to him for three years.

"I can't believe it's you!" Hardy said, smiling widely.

"Is she your….?" Ezra said, pointing to the beautiful little girl in Hardy's arms.

"Yes, this is my daughter, Lindy!" Hardy said, proudly. "Honey, say hi to my old friend, Ezra," he told her daughter.

"Hi-lo," Hardy's daughter said, shyly.

"Hi, Lindy!" Ezra replied, gently pinching Lindy's chubby cheek causing her to giggle.

"She's very beautiful!" Ezra told Hardy.

"Of course she is, she's my daughter!" Hardy replied.

"You haven't changed at all! You're still the best to flatter yourself," Ezra replied as Hardy laughed.

"So, what are you doing here?" Hardy asked him.

"I had a conference here, but now I'm coming back to California, I'm working at Berkeley!" Ezra told his friend.

"Berkeley? Wow, I'm impressed. That's great!" Hardy said.

"And you, what are you doing here?" Ezra asked Hardy.

"Well, Lindy and I came to visit my parents in Cleveland," Hardy replied. "Right, sweetheart?" He addressed his daughter.

Ezra was surprised how sweet Hardy was being to his daughter. It was strange to see him as a caring father. He remembered him as the guy who was getting out every night, always coming back with a different girl. And now, he was a father!

He had always thought that he would be the first to have kids. Not only because Hardy was always claiming that he would never marry and let alone have a child who would _"take away his precious freedom"_ but especially because he had found the girl who he wanted to have kids with.

_As he was sitting on the bench, Ezra watched the pretty little girl who was playing on the slide in the children's park. He smiled when his father caught her at the end of the slide and that she lovingly wrapped her miniscule arms around his neck, smiling widely._

_He would love to be a father someday; he could perfectly picture himself playing with his daughter in a park like this one, catching her at the end of the slide or pushing her on the swing. He even could imagine what his daughter could look like. He imagined her with long brown or black hair, and especially with large hazel eyes, like her mother._

"_What are you thinking about?" A voice interrupted him, pulling him out of his thoughts. He turned around to see Aria, next to him with two ice creams in her hands. They were spending the afternoon outside, in Phyllis. Generally, they didn't dare to go __outside but the weather was really great and he had seen in Aria's eyes that she really wanted to go outside, so he had taken her to Phyllis where they could enjoy the sunny April afternoon. He knew that even if she never complained, she was getting tired of staying in his tiny apartment all the time and he had only wanted to make her happy._

"_Nothing, I was just trying to imagine what it would feel like to be a dad," Ezra replied as Aria sat down on the bench beside him, after having given him one of the ice creams she had gotten for the both of them._

"_Would you like to have kids?" Aria asked him. They had never talked about this subject, of course, why would he have talked about having kids with his sixteen years old girlfriend who was still in high school?_

"_Yes, of course, not before years, but yes I would love to, especially if they have your eyes," he told her. Aria's face lighted up at his comment and she leaned forward to kiss him. _

"When time is your flight? Do you have time for a coffee? We could make up for lost time?" Hardy proposed. Ezra glanced at his watch, he still had one hour before loading.

"Yes, it would be great," Ezra accepted. The two friends made their way toward the airport cafeteria and sat down at a table. They ordered two coffees and a big ice cream for Lindy.

"So, you're a father!" Ezra said, still amazed.

"Yep! You know, when Sarah told me that she was pregnant, I totally freaked out but this little girl is the best thing that ever happened to me," Hardy said, looking lovingly at Lindy who was focused on her ice cream, her face already full of chocolate.

"Sarah?" Ezra asked, wanting to know more about Lindy's mother.

"Yeah, she's pretty amazing. She is a lawyer; she is working on an important case right now, it's why she didn't come with Lindy and me. Actually, I'm going to ask her to marry me," Hardy said, smiling.

"Seriously? I can't believe that the man who was saying all the time that marriage was "_the biggest mistake in a man's life"_ is going to marry!" Ezra said, remembering Hardy's words.

"Yes, I know but it was before I met Sarah," he replied.

"I'm happy for you!" Ezra sincerely told his friend.

"How about you? Someone special in your life?" Hardy asked Ezra.

Ezra sighed. Of course there was someone special in his life. There had always been someone special in his life since this day in this tiny bar, but he didn't want to tell Hardy what had happened with Aria. Hardy had always seen his relationship with Aria as "_a big mistake_"_._

"Not really," he lied.

Hardy furrowed his brows.

"Come on, man, you have always been a terrible liar, so don't waste your time and tell me the truth!" Hardy told him.

Ezra released a deep breath. "It's complicated," he said.

"Come on, I know we haven't seen each other for years but you can still talk to me," Hardy said. "I'm a person of sound advices," he added.

Ezra raised an eyebrow at Hardy. "Like the time when you convinced me to ask Jackie out?" He said.

"Alright, alright, this was a mistake but she seemed so nice how could I have known that she was such a ….," he interrupted himself for an instant to look at his daughter who was totally focused on her ice cream, and continued in a low voice to prevent her from hearing, "bitch!" he let out.

"Oh, yes, you can say that, she's a total bitch!" Ezra said, forgetting Lindy's presence.

"Shh! Young ears here!" Hardy said.

"Bitch!" The little girl repeated, smiling.

"I swear to you, if she says this word in front of her mother, I give Sarah your number!" Hardy said.

"Sorry, man!" Ezra apologized.

"But, come on, tell me who is this mysterious girl?" Hardy asked Ezra.

After a few seconds of silence, Ezra finally complied.

"It's Aria!" He confessed. Hardy looked at him with a confused look.

"Aria, your student?" Hardy asked.

"Yes," Ezra confirmed.

"But I thought it was over since a very long time," Hardy told him.

"It was, but I saw her two days ago, she's studying at Columbia where the conference was," Ezra explained.

"Wow, you haven't changed either, three years have passed and you're still in the same drama with the same girl" Hardy said.

"Hardy! Please," Ezra said, not wanting to joke about that

"I'm sorry. So what happened? "Hardy asked him.

"We talked, I explained to her why I had left four years ago, she forgave me, and we spent time together," Ezra told him.

"You mean that you…" Hardy insinuated.

"Yes, we spent a night together," Ezra breathed out.

"And now?" Hardy asked him. Ezra cast down his eyes, remembering his last conversation with Aria.

"Now, nothing, she didn't want us to be together," Ezra said.

"Really? Why? Is she still angry with you?" Hardy asked, astonished.

"No, she said she forgave me but she said that we couldn't be together because we were in two different towns and that it was better this way," Ezra said.

"So what did you do?" Hardy asked.

"Nothing, she begged me to leave, so it's what I'm doing, I don't want to make things worse for her," Ezra told Hardy.

Hardy looked at him amazed. "I'm sorry to tell you that, man, but you are an idiot!"

"What?" Ezra said, stunned by his friend's reaction.

"You're an idiot," Hardy repeated.

"Why are you saying that?" Ezra asked, annoyed by Hardy's judgment.

"Because it's obvious that she said that because she was scared; she had been hurt in the past, she is just protecting herself from going through the same things again! I'm sure she is still in love with you, and you are obviously still in love with her too, so you should fight for her," Hardy replied.

Ezra was amazed by Hardy's reaction. Not only because he had always been opposed at his relationship with Aria, but especially because Hardy had never been what we could call a specialist of the feminine psychology.

"I don't know, Hardy, she seemed very decided. And maybe she's right, maybe we're not meant to be together!" Ezra said.

"Oh, come on, you can't think that," Hardy replied.

"Hardy, I'm sorry but I'm confused! Since when do you approve my relationship with Aria? You have always advised me to stop this relationship, for you she was "the biggest mistake of my life!" Ezra reminded him.

"Yes, but it was before I understood what it means to truly love someone! I thought you were an idiot but now I realize that you loved her and that _I_ was the idiot!" Hardy said.

Ezra looked at his friend and smiled. "I was wrong, you really have changed!" he said causing Hardy to smile at him.

"I'm sorry, man, but we have to go," Hardy said, glancing at his watch.

"Sarah is waiting for us," he added.

Hardy got up from the table and took Lindy in his arms after having cleaned up her face full of ice cream with the napkin.

Ezra got up too and kissed Lindy on her forehead. "Bye, sweetie," he told the little girl.

"Bye," the child cheerfully replied.

"Goodbye, man,and this time we stay in touch, okay?" Hardy said.

"Of course!" Ezra said.

"And for Aria, it's all your call, but I hope that you will make the right decision," Hardy added.

The two friends hugged each other, and as Hardy and Lindy were about to leave, the little girl exclaimed: "Bitch!"

"Oh, God, Sarah is gonna kill me!" Hardy said, shaking his head.

Ezra gave an apologetic smile to his friend and Hardy and Lindy left the airport, leaving Ezra with a big decision to make.

Ezra went back to his seat and sighed.

Was Hardy right? Had Aria said what she had said because she was scared of losing him again? At this point, he was totally lost; he didn't know what to do anymore, the whole situation was too complicated.

He stayed in his seat, thoughtful, until the loud speakers announced his flight. Then he got up from his seat, having made his decision.

* * *

**Four months later**

Aria walked toward the bay glazed and looked at Central Park, just in front of her. There were a lot of people in the park on this sunny summer afternoon. Some couples were walking, their hands intertwined, enjoying the beautiful weather. A few children were playing together under their parents' watchful eyes, sitting on benches in the shadow of the big trees. A little further, she could even see the beautiful white swans on the lake, swimming on the flat water, among the ducks that a little boy and her mother were feeding.

It was a beautiful view and she smiled at the thought that she was going to be able to see it every day. From now on, every morning, when she would wake up, she would see this.

She couldn't believe that she was going to live here. Four months ago she would never have imagined that her life could change at this point; she would have never imagined that she could be so happy.

_Aria got out of her bed and tried to dry her puffy eyes with the back of her palm. Ezra had left three hours ago and she hadn't stopped crying since this moment. She didn't know that it would be as painful as the first time, but it was._

_She stared at her reflection in the little mirror, on the wall between her bed and Spencer's, and sighed__. She was horrible! Her eyes were so red and puffy that she knew that __it would take hours to be presentable. __She thought that asking Ezra to leave would prevent her from going through the same painful events but, at this moment, she realized that she'd been wrong. She hadn't wanted to be a mess once again but how to describe the girl she was looking at __in the mirror? _

_She went to the bathroom and passed some cold water on her face. She suddenly heard the keys turning in the lock and Spencer entered the apartment a second later._

"_Hey," Aria quietly said to her friend._

"_What happened with Ezra," Spencer immediately asked, noticing Aria's puffy eyes._

"_He's gone," Aria merely replied. _

_Spencer looked at her, with a sorry look._

"_You're okay?" She asked her best friend, worried._

"_Yes, don't worry," Aria lied. _

"_I'm going out a little bit," she added._

"_But…," Spencer began._

"_I'm alright, don't worry, I just need to walk a little bit," she told her friend. __The last thing __she wanted was to talk about that. She really needed to be alone to clear her head._

"_Don't worry, Spence, I will be fine," she told her friend before leaving their room._

_She walked on the campus during almost one hour, unable to get Ezra out of her thoughts. He was probably already on the plane now, leaving New York and leaving her. But she couldn't be angry with him, she was the one who had asked him to leave; she was the only responsible, if there was a person to blame, it was her and only her. _

"_Spencer, I'm back," she said as she opened the door when she finally came back. She entered the room but immediately stopped when she discovered the person who was standing in front of her._

"_Ezra! What are you doing here? Where is Spencer?" She asked him, stunned._

"_She got out and she let me come in," Ezra answered._

" _But, I…..I thought you were already gone!" Aria said, astonished._

"_It's what I was about to do, but then I realized that I couldn't do that, I couldn't leave, I couldn't leave twice!" Ezra replied._

"_But …." Aria tried to say._

"_No, Aria, listen to me, I won't make the same mistake twice; I won't give up on us like I did the first time! I don't want to be a coward anymore, this time I'm going to fight for you!" Ezra said._

"_Ezra, I…" Once again he stopped her._

"_Aria, since I __met you in this bar, I tried to forget you so many times, I tried to move on but I never succeeded. Even after four years apart! And now I want to stop fighting these feelings! You said that we were not meant to be together but how do you explain that we found each other again? This is destiny!_

_Aria, I can't promise you that we will be happy for the rest of our lives, it's how life works: we never know what is going to happen but the only thing I know is that I want to be with you! And I know you don't want me to say that but I need to tell you anyway," he paused for a moment, looking at her._

_She knew she had to prevent him from saying what he was about to say, but contrary to the first time; she didn't do anything, maybe because, secretly, she wanted him to tell it. And he did._

"_I love you, Aria! I always did and I will always do!" He told her, looking at her in the eyes. _

_This time she couldn't fight her feelings __and tears fell down her face. She had never thought that three little words could have this effect on her. These same words that, in spite of all that had happened between them, she knew that she still meant and maybe that she would always mean._

"_I know that you're scared and that you've already suffered a lot because of me, but …." Ezra continued. _

_Before he could add a word, Aria closed the gaps between them and cut him by pressing her soft lips against his. He cupped her cheeks in his hands and responded to her kiss, tasting her salty tears as she wrapped her arms around his neck, pressing herself even closer to him. _

_She suddenly broke away and looked at him with teary eyes._

"_I love you too," she said between her tears. He smiled at her words that he had believed never to hear again. He slowly brushed her soft lower lip with his thumb, smiled at her and leaned to kiss her passionately._

The grin that hadn't left Aria's face grew wider when she felt Ezra's hands wrap around her small waist and his mouth gently kiss her neck, pulling her out of her thoughts.

"Are you happy?" he asked her, whispering in her ear.

"More than I have ever been," she replied.

Ezra placed a kiss on the top of her head and they stayed like that for a few instants, without saying anything, enjoying the view of their new home.

Suddenly Aria turned over to face Ezra.

"Ezra, do you remember that conversation we had in Phyllis, when you told me that you would like to have kids with me someday?" Aria suddenly asked.

"Yes, I do," Ezra replied.

"Do you still mean it?" She asked him.

Ezra looked at her and furrowed his brows.

"Why are you asking me that?" He asked her.

Aria bit her lip and looked at him in the eyes as she placed her hands on her stomach. Ezra looked at her, his eyes wide open, as he understood what she was meaning.

"You mean that you are, you are…." he stuttered, unable to finish his sentence

"Yes, I'm pregnant, I found out a week ago," Aria said, smiling even if she was a little scared of his reaction.

Ezra smiled widely and took her in his arms.

"Of course, I do, I still mean it!" He said before kissing her.

**The End**

* * *

**So, this was the last chapter. Do you like the ending?**

**Please, please review this last chapter, I really want to know what you think even if it's just a little word, please.**

**Thank you so much again to all the people who reviewed and read this short story . And, I'm sorry for my errors.**

**Bite-me-im-irish : Yes, Funeral blues is an amazing poem, it's one of my favorites too, maybe even my favorite.**

**Guest**: please tell me that this has a happy ending?

**I think you have your answer :)**

**HarrylovesGinny09** : **So, yes, she's pregnant** ^^

**Generally, I don't really like when Aria gets pregnant but as it was the end...**

**xoxo**


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